010: See a terrible film surrounded by lunatics

As I braced for another salvo of plastic spoons to come raining down from above, I began to question the wisdom of doing this particular Interesting Thing.

On the first Friday of each month, an independent cinema downtown has a screening of 'The Room,' an inexplicably bad 2001 film directed, produced, written by, and starring Tommy Wiseau. The theatre was about 70% full, and the audience consisted largely of 18-25 year olds who looked as though the chief criterion in their grooming decisions was to irritate their parents. A staff member took a shot of alcohol to cries of "Scotchka!" and distributed three massive bags of plastic spoons to the audience.
It was becoming clear to me that this was going to be a little different from most films.

The story opened on what appeared to be stock landscape shots of an American city. The audience shouted,"Meanwhile, in San Francisco!" They drummed on the back of chairs when shots panned across the Golden Gate Bridge and burst into cries of "Alcatraz" when the island prison was shown. And also when a circular staircase was onscreen, for some reason.
Tommy Wiseau appeared onscreen, to wild applause. HI LISA he said woodenly. OH HI JOHNNY she replies. Whenever a character entered a scene, the crowd shouted the greeting, drowning out the characters invariably parroting the line. Next was HI DENNY HI LISA HI JOHNNY and the new character following the couple upstairs to bed.

After BYE DENNY, Johnny and Lisa engage in a protracted and uncomfortable-looking love scene, then a morning shot which introduces the relevance of the spoons.
In the couple's house are a number of picture frames which display artistic photographs of spoons. In the event that, and as long as, the images are displayed onscreen, the audience shouts SPOON and hurls plastic spoons at the screen, at each other, and particularly at anyone gathering spoons from the aisle. Seated in the fifth row, I was guaranteed half a dozen spoons to the head and at least one down the back of my jacket, such was the quantity and angle of attack of the spoon salvos.
MEANWHILE IN SAN FRANCISCO, Lisa's mother made an appearance HI LISA / CANCER / I PUT MY EVIL IN YOU / BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN. The crowd had many catchphrases for the lady. Then later it was HI LISA / HI MARK / HE'S MY BEST FRIEND / SPOON / ALCATRAZ when Johnny's friend Mark showed up to see Lisa. It was uncommon for thirty seconds to pass without some onscreen event triggering the hue and cry of the meme-ready masses around me. Not only were they familiar with the famous passages of dialogue, they had clearly seen their fair share of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and seized opportunities to bellow wit and wisdom at the screen as and when the Muse inspired.

To recount more of the plot would be useless, as the weakness of the production only renders more enjoyable the true pleasure of seeing 'The Room'; being part of an unruly mob. United against the common enemy, we howled and shouted and pelted and threw up our hands.

It was strange, it was fun, and it was $16 well spent.